33. Air conditioning
34. Internet connection for friends and for finding up to date information
35. One GP who listened
36. My great country – celebrating Australia Day tomorrow
37. Big athletics carnival at Ipswich with big challenges for the boys
38. Home made Ice Blocks
39.The chance to see so many kids achieving as I update little athletics cards
40. Nutritious leftover for dinner
I have to admit that as the start of the school year draws closer I’m feeling very “homesick” for school because it is where I have always been at this time of year. I am uncertain about what 2010 has in store for me and to some extent I have to literally wait and see what happens.
However there are some things I can do and have been doing to make me feel good and to take care of myself.
- I’m working hard on the sleep routine. I’ve had a couple of late nights with athletics which have shaken things up but in general the sleep is better.
- I’ve asked to be referred to another doctor for a second opinion on my ongoing anxiety/depression. I’ve been with the same doctor for seven years and I’m struggling with the medication I am on. I had to be bit assertive with the GP to get a referral but it is important so I persisted.
- I’m dipping my toe into bible reading and praying about my situation often.
- I’m talking to people. This is a big one. I’ve had in depth discussion with a couple of people about how things are going to pan out this year and what I can do to make things better.
- I’ve gone back to Weight Watchers (again) and I’m giving it a really good go (again).
- I’m trying to stay busy with purposeful stuff. I’ve been updating Little Athletics record cards, covering books for Eric, knitting and trying to do things around the house.
- I recognized that the first day of school would be a hard one for me because simply put, I won’t be there. My plan is to drop off the boys and then I’m using the voucher for a day spa treatment that my colleagues gave me when I resigned.
- I’m considering things that I can do to get myself out of the house on a regular basis during the day bearing in mind that there may not be much supply work initially. One of those things was to offer my services for 1/2 day a week in Year 1 at school (Daniel’s year level). I’ve e-mailed the teachers, offered my services and they will get back to me with a day and time that suits them with the understanding that if I get called into work I’m going into work.
- Yesterday the boys had a big athletics carnival at Ipswich. I knew it would do my head in sitting on the hill for six hours + so I volunteered as a recorder for one of the long jump pits. I still got to see both boys compete in long jump and all their track events, I was kept occupied and the recording was one less thing the long jump chief had to organise for each event.
- Today I did the grocery shopping by myself, ate a nutritious lunch and had a pedicure and manicure (there was a special offer on).
- If all else fails I have lists I can consult for what to do next although more often than not the answer is “laundry”.
So all in all, despite the fact that it is a somewhat sad time for me as school starts without me there, I’m doing my best to rise above the sadness and to keep doing things that improve my situation.
4. Be the best person you can be
This one where you need to be truly honest with yourself. Are you really doing your best? If the answer to this question is yes than you can think of that when people around you are being negative. If you are giving your best you can give no more and noone can ask anymore of you than your best.
The difficulty with this one lies in whether your “best” tallies up with what others perhaps think your “best” should be. If there is a difference it can lead to negativity but by reminding yourself that you are doing your best you can rise above the negativity around you.
It is another of those days when it is difficult to feel thankful about anything. I’ve missed out on a job I would dearly have loved to get and it has hit me hard. My sleep patterns are screwy again and that isn’t helping the rest of my days.
However, I am thankful for:
16. Time with good friends
17. Air conditioned movie cinemas
18. Access to good health food
19. Access to help and support at Weight Watchers
20. Potted up plants with help from a nine year old
21. Endless questions and thoughts from a wondering six year old
22. Anthony’s dedication and hard work in keeping three lawns and 3 lots of garden edges all maintained
23. Soaking rain
24. Long thick grass for the guinea pigs to graze (some of it gets left unmown for them!)
26. Air conditioning in our home
27. Friends for the boys to sleep over with
28. Dinner out with Anthony sans boys
29. The ability to talk to my dr about what I really need to improve my health
30. The snores of an overtired six years old on my lap in the dr’s surgery
31. Lavender shower gel and body lotion to help me sleep
32. A big list of things to do to keep me focussed
You can find more Gratitude on Ann Voskamps’s Blog – Multitude Monday
Way back in the days when I was attempting breastfeeding with premie Eric a wise soul from Nursing Mothers (now known as the Australian Breastfeeding Association) told me to look at my life as a long piece of string and then imagine what time my son’s babyhood would take up on that hopefully long piece of string. It was a good metaphor for life and one I’ve thought of frequently since then and quite often in recent days. You see, I’ve been knitting with one of my Christmas presents from Threads and More. I say one because I’ve still got a discount voucher and a gift voucher to use there – squeeeeee! It is (or was) a wonderball with an explanation attached as follows:
“Different yarns of many colours and lengths are manually tied together to create a surprise yarn ball of wool blends, textures, small amounts of cotton, and surprises. Popular in the 1800’s, the wonder ball was given as a gift at Christmas. As the person knit, and used up lines of yarn, small gifts inside the ball would surface. The knitter could not fast forward to see what the next trinket, surprise or yarn would be. The ball of yarn embodied the spirit of giving, as the gift continued to reveal presents, and the knitter produced a lasting gift or either a scarf or wrap.”
The wonder ball pictured isn’t mine but it shows a bit of what mine looked like before I knitted it up. Following Lynda’s instructions to cast on 200 stitches and just keep going, I’ve made a peacock coloured wrap in the course of about 4 days. As I got near the end of the project it occurred to me that the wonder ball was like that “piece of string” that could be thought of as life. It started out in a near perfect shape with only glimpses of what might be ahead. It was just like a baby – really cute with only vague ideas of what the future might hold for them. At times the yarn was smooth and of a regular size so the kitting went along very efficiently and easily – just like the times when life is going well. Then there were treacherous times with narrow yarn and ribbony bits sticking out at odd intervals. It was tempting to get rid of these bits of yarn that were hard to deal with and took a long time to knit but I followed Lynda’s instructions and just kept on going. It was just like times when we meet difficulties in life – it is hard to keep going, it takes a lot of hard work to get through it but then you can look back at it as being part of life’s rich tapestry. For example, the many dramas surrounding the pregnancy and birth of Eric were really hard to take at the time but we wouldn’t swap it for anything because we truly have the most wonderful boy now. There were shiny yarns that looked beautiful but twisted easily causing unforeseen problems just like something or someone who looks good but causes problems and there was some beautifully rainbow -like feathery yarn that could hardly be seen but added a wonderful texture to part of the finished product. That yarn reminded me of where life is at the moment. I’m stretching in all sorts of directions working out what to do next in my life. I don’t know the exact way ahead or how things will pan out but I’m trusting in God’s plan for me and that things will turn out for the best. When I look back at this part of my life I will still see the uncertainty but it will all just be a short part in that long piece of string. I ran out of yarn before I finished off the last casting off and had to substitute a small piece from my own stash – who knows? maybe I’m in for a second lease of life at some stage?
I’m a bit late with this but with holidays and not much routine the days are just running into each other. This has been the week of the Great Purge as we prepare for the Mighty Garage Sale on Saturday morning. We’ve been having a last look at our baby toys, sorting duplo, cleaning up a high chair and a few prams. I’ve still got to go through the book shelf as it is time for the little board books to go and a few peg type puzzles. I’m also releasing several bags of clothes into the cosmos. I can’t wear them now because they don’t fit and I’ll buy newer ones as I get down to different sizes. It is such a giddy feeling to know that soon all we’ll have under the bed is a set of empty suitcases.
Go and see Rachel Anne’s Home Sanctuary Blog for more Company Girls
It certainly is baby steps at this time of the year with entertaining the boys on school holidays as well as trying to get things running smoothly around the home. This week’s task was to list some “needs” from last week’s “wants” list and the biggest needs I have were the top three wants – getting fit, eating healthy food and getting into good routines.
Then there was the suggestion that baby step be made towards one of these. Well, I’ve got my desk clear of everything except what is being worked on – books being covered for Eric, materials for a Bible study I’m doing and routines printed out and easily accessible. It doesn’t mean I’m following them yet but it is a step in the right direction. I used Mum’s sewing machine for a while this afternoon to finish up some cross stitched ornaments from last year as well as making the ling for a knitted bag I’ve done and all the sewing stuff is cleared away so the desk is ready for action. That in itself makes me more inclined to get things done.