4. Be the best person you can be
This one where you need to be truly honest with yourself. Are you really doing your best? If the answer to this question is yes than you can think of that when people around you are being negative. If you are giving your best you can give no more and noone can ask anymore of you than your best.
The difficulty with this one lies in whether your “best” tallies up with what others perhaps think your “best” should be. If there is a difference it can lead to negativity but by reminding yourself that you are doing your best you can rise above the negativity around you.
This is a really tough one but very worthwhile at the same time.
3. Don’t get Caught Up in the Negative Spiral
It is very easy when a negative comment is made or even when one is on the receiving end of a tirade to answer back and the situation immediately escalates. You can be perfectly justified in your “defence” or what ever you want to say to justify yourself but the negative person doesn’t want to hear that so it is isn’t worth wasting your breath. Try taking a deep breath and giving the barest minimum of answers or even no answers at all. Don’t get drawn into the other person’s negativity with more negativity of your own.
I have thought about whether or not I should continue this series but I am going to do so as it is useful for me to clarify my thoughts and who knows, it might help someone else once day. This blog is supposed to be about “What Works for Me” and unfortunately part of that is dealing with negativity. So on to part 2.
2. Stay Calm. Remember who has the problem
Someone else’s problem does not have to become my problem unless I choose to make it that way. I can just accept that someone is unhappy with something and that is their current reality and then move on. I am in charge of my feelings and emotions and they do not need to be driven by anyone other than myself. Of course, some problems need to be shared and for some problems I do need to take responsibility. However I don’t have to be dragged down and made to feel bad about them. Instead I can choose to look at problems as opportunities for growth and development. So if someone in my life gets “wound up” about something it is not my duty to get “wound up” right along with them. I can choose my response to any situation and as much as I can – I choose to be calm. Sometimes I have to practice saying in my head “not my problem, not my problem” but I get there.
All of us have someone in our lives that is less than positive and quite often it is someone we have to live with and deal with on a day to day basis. I’ve been thinking about how I deal with people who are negative recently and I’ve worked on this series of posts to outline my ways of managing life with a negative person. I’m certainly no expert on relationships or personal development of anything else but in this series I’m just going to share what has worked for me and if it helps someone else that’s an added bonus.
The negative person might be the last person you want to pray for but I find that if there is absolutely nothing I can do to change the person’s attitude in the short term then it is of some small comfort to me to pray for them. At least then I am doing something positive and I can meditate on the ways of improving the situations. The negative people in my life are the first ones in my prayers each night because they are my biggest challenges. It really does give me peace when perhaps it hasn’t been a good day or any other strategies I have employed haven’t worked. It can always be placed before God.