Living with UncertaintyPosted: November 24, 2009
It is highly unusual for me to be coming to this part of the year without having a clear vision of what is store for me in the new year to come. However since my decision to resign in July, uncertainty has been my constant companion and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It has made me think deeply about my vocation of teaching and I truly believe it is a vocation. I have also had to think about balancing the different roles I have in my life and all of that is productive. I remember a saying “let go and let God” and that is what I have been doing for the last six months. That isn’t easy when I’m used to having all my ducks in a row and knowing exactly what the next step will be.
As of this moment I know these things:
- My true passion is teaching. I will teach in any primary year level. I used to think that Prep would be too hard. Now I think it would be great fun.
- I am open to new and different experiences in teaching. They will all be part of life’s rich tapestry.
- While I can be a competent homemaker, I’m not cut out to make it my full time occupation.
- When I am feeling contented and on top of things that feeling spreads to the rest of my family.
I’ve been doing an number of things to deal with the uncertainty around next year. These include sticking to a regular daily and weekly routine, slowly getting the house more organised so that a return to work is made easier and training my boys in taking on more household responsibilities instead of being “waited on”. I’ve made sure that I have regular social contact through my knitting groups and book club. I’m also being open to suggestions about what I might do. I’ve applied for a number of positions in a range of different schools and in many different year levels for anything from six months to 12 months. I’m willing to try new things but I feel that I need more than casual relief work to truly utilize my talents and to make a viable financial contribution to my family. Four days out of 10 weeks is certainly not enough for us to live on!
I’m also looking after my health. Weight Watchers and Contours are a big part of my life. Our menu planning at home is improving and we are cooking more regularly. I stay in touch with my doctors on a regular basis and follow their advice. I’m still not the best sleeper but I think part of that is natural when I’m faced with not knowing what the new year will bring.